Saturday, 22 February 2014

The long journey that led to our little Christmas miracle...

If you follow me on Twitter, Instagram [if you don't, you should ;)] or are friends with me on Facebook, you will be aware of my latest news which James & I excitedly announced during our trip to Paris this week... 
We're having a baby!!

Our much anticipated little one is due to arrive in August.

We had actually been trying to conceive for over 16 months.

16 long, painful months! 
During that time we had no end of tests and scans to try and work out why it was taking so long. Every month got harder and I felt more negative as time went by. We never imagined it would take so long. And during this time, everyone around us were falling pregnant and having babies and it was really hard, as it just wasn't happening for us. And nobody could understand why. We also made the mistake of telling family and friends that we were trying, which put no end of pressure on us as time went on.
You may remember, if you followed my blog back in September, that I had key hole surgery? That was actually to check out my womb, ovaries and tubes to check if everything was okay. Which they were. It was quite frustrating as, of course I was glad all was fine, but at the same time I still didn't have an answer. I'd gone through surgery and the sore recovery for 2 weeks and was still no closer to finding an answer. I almost hoped they could find something wrong and be able to fix it.
See, my cycles are very irregular and are often quite long. I was having to temperature chart every day, every month, to see where I was in my cycle, I was testing for ovulation for weeks as I had no idea when it was going to arrive each month. My body was struggling to ovulate throughout the month. My body would often attempt and fail to ovulate until a successful ovulation, which made it pretty hard to catch.

For almost a year and a half, my life was pretty much an array of temperature charts, ovulation tests, fertility vitamins and scheduled nooky!! Not so much the exciting adventure we thought we'd have when we made the decision to start trying!

I was diagnosed with Unexplained Secondary Infertility and referred to the Fertility Clinic.
When we finally got our appointment at the Fertility Clinic, we were prescribed fertility treatment. It was our last hope, as after that our only hope was IVF. Having Bradley already meant we weren't entitled to free IVF so would cost us £4,000+.

Being prescribed treatment, was a huge weight off my shoulders. We felt quite positive about it, and you could almost say we relaxed a lot more.
The week I was due to start the treatment I started to feel a bit strange. I can't describe how I felt, I just felt different. I hadn't 'tested' in over a year. The disappointment and cost each month was too much, and I'd almost got to the point that I was used to my period arriving every month that testing never came into it. But something, that day, although I wasn't due my period for another 2 days, told me to test. And I was shocked to see it was positive! I had to get James to bring home some digi tests so I could see it in writing. I was pregnant the month before even starting treatment. How ironic. But amazing!

My doctor called it a Little Christmas Miracle and was super excited for us!!

Unfortunately, Christmas was a bit of a blur for me. I was so so poorly. I was sick and overwhelmingly nauseous for over 13 weeks. I can honestly say I have never been so poorly, for so long, in all of my life. It totally took me out. It was effort for me to get out of bed and to the sofa. I really suffered. I've basically spent the first 13 weeks of my pregnancy dying on the sofa, asleep or wrapped around the toilet bowl. Not pretty. I've not been able to use many beauty products, as the smell was just too overwhelming. James had to take his deodorants and aftershaves into the bathroom to use in the morning as I couldn't stomach the smell!! 

On top of feeling so poorly, I had a health scare at work. I can't go into it unless I want my P45 handed to me Monday morning, but I will, one day, open up about it as I feel people should be more aware of it!! It caused James & I huge stress and anxiety that I didn't need, so early in my pregnancy. I was hearing frightening news from fetal consultants and have had to have numerous tests to determine the health of my unborn baby. I'm awaiting more test results this week, but so far everything seems okay. I've had a month off work and am due to start at another workplace on Monday. I'm looking forward to the new challenge though. 

We had an early reassurance scan at 8 weeks. I was so happy to see a heartbeat, but I don't think it sunk in for James at that point; it was just a little squidge on the screen! :) I think the 12 week scan was the moment it all became very real for James. He couldn't quite believe his eyes, seeing this little baby with its nose, mouth, arms and legs moving around on the screen. He got quite emotional and I've never seen him so overwhelmed. Was such an amazing experience. 

Bradley is also very excited to become a big brother, and we're trying to involve him in the pregnancy as much as possible. We have a private gender scan booked in a few weeks and we've decided to take Bradley along, so he can be there to learn whether he'll be having a little brother or sister in a few months time.

We announced it publicly last week, whilst in Paris and it all got a bit more exciting!
That said, I take it day by day, each week is a huge milestone for me. I'm a lot more anxious during this pregnancy than I ever was back when I was 19 and pregnant with Bradley. I worry about every little thing and have to listen in to the heartbeat every other day, for reassurance. But everything, so far, is progressing as it should be...

I'm 15 weeks now, feeling a bit more human now Ive ventured into the 2nd trimester and already sporting a bit of a bump. [When I say a bit, I mean I'm bloody huge already!] Although I'm pretty sure it's part baby, part cake! ;)

I'll keep you all posted. :)

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  1. eeekk! im so,so,so,so,so happy for you! you went through so much! im so glad your doing ok now, yay for august babies!

    Catherine x

  2. Such a wonderful happy story! So pleased for you to have a happy ending to such a tough time. Hoping the rest of the time goes swimmingly.

    Rebecca x

  3. Congratulations, it's lovely that it worked out for you in the end after what must have been a really difficult time.

    Claire x

  4. Wow! I know exactly what you mean about feeling negative and how it is happening for everyone else. So pleased that you didn't have to go through IVF in the end :) x

  5. A beautiful baby after a long journey which I am also all to familiar with. Best wishes :) xx


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