Okay, so I'm going to start this post with a little DISCLAIMER:
I'm writing this an extremely hormonal, hot [and definitely not in the attractive way, far, FAR from that right now], heavily pregnant woman, just days away from being full term. I'm tired, sleep deprived, sweaty, grumpy, fed up and very uncomfortable. So, please bare with me and keep this all in mind whilst you read this post. I'm not always such a moody cow, honest.
And most importantly, if you've said any of these things to a pregnant woman lately, namely me [and you probably have, as it's pretty much ALL I hear nowadays] then please don't take it personal, you're definitely not the only one...
So, the following statements are things that have been said to me during my pregnancy, many of them within the past week! Things that I personally find SO annoying, and with agreement from my friends in my pregnancy groups, we've decided that these are
10 Things You Should NEVER Say To A Pregnant Woman...
1. 'Wow, you're massive!!'
AKA 'OMG you're huge!', 'Look at the size of you!', 'You're SOOO big' and many other variations. Thanks. Yep, nothing like a compliment to take the edge of the fact that I can't walk properly and haven't seen my feet in months. Yes, I carry big. Yes, I am 'huge', but us pregnant women find it pretty damn insulting! We're women at the end of the day, we're sensitive about our weight, our figures and the way we look, and you're calling us 'massive'?! Nice.
NEWSFLASH 'friends and family', it makes us feel rubbish!! We're more than likely struggling with this extra weight as it is, calling us HUGE really isn't helping. Would it be acceptable to call an overweight person, or someone that had put on a bit of pudding the same? Of course not. So why is it okay to say it to a probably already insecure and hormonal female when she is carrying a baby? Personally, after what I went through to get here, I'm so unbelievably proud of my pregnancy and my bump. But I really shouldn't have to worry that every time I share my proud bump shots with my friends and family over social media, they are met with numerous comments about how massive I am! You're not wrong, but keep your comments to yourself. If you looked past the 'size' of me you'll see I'm an amazing woman, growing an amazing human being!!
2. 'OMG I can't cope in this heat!!'
Oh can you not? Aw poor you, it must be awful having all those lovely summery clothes to choose from and be able to move around and go where you wish to cool down. Me? I'm carrying a full size baby during a heatwave. I can now only fit into maternity leggings and 3 maternity tops, no pretty summer dresses for me this summer! It is pretty common, yet dangerous, for pregnant woman to get heat stroke, the extra blood flowing around the body makes the body much hotter, so being pregnant in 30degree heat and unbearable humidity is awful. Carrying around the extra weight, feeling over tired, sleepless, restless nights, swelling and other pregnancy symptoms we come across at the end of our pregnancies are heightened in this heat. I can't seem to quench my thirst, I'm going through ice poles, ice cold drinks and ice lollies quicker than Aldi can stock them, I'm literally joined at the hip to my tower fan and the humidity plus a baby putting pressure on my ribcage / lungs is making it hard to breathe properly. I'm being advised to stay indoors, rest and stay hydrated as I'm at high risk of heat exhaustion, swelling, heat stroke, triggered contractions and dehydration. But tell me again how hot you are?
3. 'He's going to be a BIG baby!!'
Are you calling my baby fat? Would you look at my baby when he's born and say 'Oh wow, he's a BIG baby!!' Oh go ahead, but be prepared for a smack in the mouth. Just sayin'.
Do you really think, this close to D day, that I want to hear that you think I'm going to have to push a BIG baby out of my... er... what's that thing called again?! I haven't seen it in so long!!
I know many people that carried big but went on to have a 6-7lb-er!! To be honest, I'm carrying very similar to how I did Bradley, who was born at 8 lb 5 oz and it looks as though this one will be about the same. Yes I probably am going to have a big baby, I am physically growing him all by myself, I see and feel how big he is without you filling me in on this fact in case I wasn't aware. That said, I'm still measuring pretty spot on so there aren't any worries size wise. And as long as my child is completely healthy, I don't care how BIG he is.
Oh and your kid's fat! No? Too far? Exactly. So SHHH!!
4. 'What have you done all day??'
Now I know James is joking when he walks in from work and says this with a wink, but I secretly see him scanning the house to see what housework has been done, or more to the point, what housework HASNT been done. :) Those things you left sprawled all over the bedroom floor grew legs and popped themselves into the bin and laundry basket, your wardrobe magically churns out a perfectly ironed [work with me here ;)] shirt every day for work, the pots wash themselves and the laundry does a little dance from the basket, to the washing machine then appear in everyones wardrobes dry, ironed and smelling fresh... all whilst I'm sat on my expanding backside watching The Kardashians. Cool huh?
I am slacking a little, I could be doing a lot more and I am resting a lot, but all the important stuff is getting done. At this point, I'm constantly tired and seem to have no energy, I'm getting hardly any sleep at night nowadays, I'm struggling in this heat, I'm uncomfortable carrying this weight, I have torn stomach muscles and a human skull popping in and out of my pelvis. I'm feeling pretty rough and I'm under doctors orders to rest, I have better days than others and I apologise the house doesn't look like a show home every day but I'm managing to keep the house going, get everything ready for baby's arrival and attempting to keep Bradley amused now he's on holiday from school... All whilst growing a human being. THAT'S what I've done all day! ;)
5. 'Are you sure there's just 1 in there?'
Erm, yes. I'm pretty sure that I've got this far knowing how many babies I am carrying in my uterus! Thank god for modern technology, huh?
See point number 1, I'm well aware that I'm big but thank you for pointing out to me that I look like I'm carrying half a dozen children!
6. 'You look like you're carrying a boy/girl'
Oh shush, really?! My mum is the worst for this 'If you carry a certain way, it means you're definitely, 100%, oh so matter of factly MUST be having a boy/girl'. Are you for real? It's an old wives tale. As if whether you carry all out front or spread all round is due to the gender of the human being you're growing! I put on so much weight all over towards the end of pregnancy, both times, and I've carried boys. So I'm afraid your theory is wrong.
7. 'Aw, I bet you wanted a girl didn't you?'
Wow, really? It took me 18 months to fall pregnant. I went through so much. I made a baby, that felt like a miracle in itself. Of course, it would've been lovely to have one of each, but as long as my child is healthy, I wasn't fussed about the gender. Nothing could've been worse than when we shared the news to our family and friends that our baby was a boy and my own mother actually wrote publicly on Facebook 'Oh I wanted a girl :(' Low blow.
8. 'Whats wrong with you today??'
Ohhhhhh no you didn't!! Did you really just ask a 9 month pregnant, hormonal woman what's wrong with you?! I suggest you take yourself off to another room.
9. 'Wow, that's a big age gap, why did you wait so long?'
Well, since you asked. I had Bradley when I was 20. I didn't plan to start a family with someone for it not to work out 3 years later. But that's what happened. I met James when Bradley was 3 and a half. When we did make the decision to extend our family, Bradley was 8. Unfortunately conceiving proved more difficult than we expected and it took 18 months for us to fall pregnant. Hence the 10 year age gap. Yes it's a big age gap. But I'd like to think it was a pretty sensible decision. And it'll be lovely, Bradley is at a fantastic age that he's been able to be totally involved in the pregnancy and is super excited to be a big brother. He'll be amazing with him and help me out lots.
10. 'Hmm, I don't like that name'
How rude and insensitive? Luckily, it's MY child's name, not yours. You don't have to like it. While we're at it, I don't fancy yours much either. ;)
Things we DO want to hear [even if you're lying... go on, just amuse us!!]:
'You look beautiful!'
'Aw you're glowing!'
'Your bump is amazing!'
'Here are your favourite chocolates'
'Would you like a foot rub?'
'I'm so proud of you'
'I've bought you your favourite Ben & Jerry's'
'You're doing a great job!'
'I'm so happy for you'
'I'm so excited for you!'
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