Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Pregnancy | 10 Things You Should NEVER Say To A Pregnant Woman!

Okay, so I'm going to start this post with a little DISCLAIMER:

I'm writing this an extremely hormonal, hot [and definitely not in the attractive way, far, FAR from that right now], heavily pregnant woman, just days away from being full term. I'm tired, sleep deprived, sweaty, grumpy, fed up and very uncomfortable. So, please bare with me and keep this all in mind whilst you read this post. I'm not always such a moody cow, honest.
And most importantly, if you've said any of these things to a pregnant woman lately, namely me [and you probably have, as it's pretty much ALL I hear nowadays] then please don't take it personal, you're definitely not the only one...

So, the following statements are things that have been said to me during my pregnancy, many of them within the past week! Things that I personally find SO annoying, and with agreement from my friends in my pregnancy groups, we've decided that these are 
10 Things You Should NEVER Say To A Pregnant Woman...

1. 'Wow, you're massive!!'
AKA 'OMG you're huge!', 'Look at the size of you!', 'You're SOOO big' and many other variations. Thanks. Yep, nothing like a compliment to take the edge of the fact that I can't walk properly and haven't seen my feet in months. Yes, I carry big. Yes, I am 'huge', but us pregnant women find it pretty damn insulting! We're women at the end of the day, we're sensitive about our weight, our figures and the way we look, and you're calling us 'massive'?! Nice.
NEWSFLASH 'friends and family', it makes us feel rubbish!! We're more than likely struggling with this extra weight as it is, calling us HUGE really isn't helping. Would it be acceptable to call an overweight person, or someone that had put on a bit of pudding the same? Of course not. So why is it okay to say it to a probably already insecure and hormonal female when she is carrying a baby? Personally, after what I went through to get here, I'm so unbelievably proud of my pregnancy and my bump. But I really shouldn't have to worry that every time I share my proud bump shots with my friends and family over social media, they are met with numerous comments about how massive I am! You're not wrong, but keep your comments to yourself. If you looked past the 'size' of me you'll see I'm an amazing woman, growing an amazing human being!! 

2. 'OMG I can't cope in this heat!!'
Oh can you not? Aw poor you, it must be awful having all those lovely summery clothes to choose from and be able to move around and go where you wish to cool down. Me? I'm carrying a full size baby during a heatwave. I can now only fit into maternity leggings and 3 maternity tops, no pretty summer dresses for me this summer! It is pretty common, yet dangerous, for pregnant woman to get heat stroke, the extra blood flowing around the body makes the body much hotter, so being pregnant in 30degree heat and unbearable humidity is awful. Carrying around the extra weight, feeling over tired, sleepless, restless nights, swelling and other pregnancy symptoms we come across at the end of our pregnancies are heightened in this heat. I can't seem to quench my thirst, I'm going through ice poles, ice cold drinks and ice lollies quicker than Aldi can stock them, I'm literally joined at the hip to my tower fan and the humidity plus a baby putting pressure on my ribcage / lungs is making it hard to breathe properly. I'm being advised to stay indoors, rest and stay hydrated as I'm at high risk of heat exhaustion, swelling, heat stroke, triggered contractions and dehydration. But tell me again how hot you are?

3. 'He's going to be a BIG baby!!'
Are you calling my baby fat? Would you look at my baby when he's born and say 'Oh wow, he's a BIG baby!!' Oh go ahead, but be prepared for a smack in the mouth. Just sayin'. 
Do you really think, this close to D day, that I want to hear that you think I'm going to have to push a BIG baby out of my... er... what's that thing called again?! I haven't seen it in so long!!
I know many people that carried big but went on to have a 6-7lb-er!! To be honest, I'm carrying very similar to how I did Bradley, who was born at 8 lb 5 oz and it looks as though this one will be about the same. Yes I probably am going to have a big baby, I am physically growing him all by myself, I see and feel how big he is without you filling me in on this fact in case I wasn't aware. That said, I'm still measuring pretty spot on so there aren't any worries size wise. And as long as my child is completely healthy, I don't care how BIG he is.
Oh and your kid's fat! No? Too far? Exactly. So SHHH!!

4. 'What have you done all day??'
Now I know James is joking when he walks in from work and says this with a wink, but I secretly see him scanning the house to see what housework has been done, or more to the point, what housework HASNT been done. :) Those things you left sprawled all over the bedroom floor grew legs and popped themselves into the bin and laundry basket, your wardrobe magically churns out a perfectly ironed [work with me here ;)] shirt every day for work, the pots wash themselves and the laundry does a little dance from the basket, to the washing machine then appear in everyones wardrobes dry, ironed and smelling fresh... all whilst I'm sat on my expanding backside watching The Kardashians. Cool huh? 
I am slacking a little, I could be doing a lot more and I am resting a lot, but all the important stuff is getting done. At this point, I'm constantly tired and seem to have no energy, I'm getting hardly any sleep at night nowadays, I'm struggling in this heat, I'm uncomfortable carrying this weight, I have torn stomach muscles and a human skull popping in and out of my pelvis. I'm feeling pretty rough and I'm under doctors orders to rest, I have better days than others and I apologise the house doesn't look like a show home every day but I'm managing to keep the house going, get everything ready for baby's arrival and attempting to keep Bradley amused now he's on holiday from school... All whilst growing a human being. THAT'S what I've done all day! ;)

5. 'Are you sure there's just 1 in there?'
Erm, yes. I'm pretty sure that I've got this far knowing how many babies I am carrying in my uterus! Thank god for modern technology, huh? 
See point number 1, I'm well aware that I'm big but thank you for pointing out to me that I look like I'm carrying half a dozen children!

6. 'You look like you're carrying a boy/girl'
Oh shush, really?! My mum is the worst for this 'If you carry a certain way, it means you're definitely, 100%, oh so matter of factly MUST be having a boy/girl'. Are you for real? It's an old wives tale. As if whether you carry all out front or spread all round is due to the gender of the human being you're growing! I put on so much weight all over towards the end of pregnancy, both times, and I've carried boys. So I'm afraid your theory is wrong.

7. 'Aw, I bet you wanted a girl didn't you?'
Wow, really? It took me 18 months to fall pregnant. I went through so much. I made a baby, that felt like a miracle in itself. Of course, it would've been lovely to have one of each, but as long as my child is healthy, I wasn't fussed about the gender. Nothing could've been worse than when we shared the news to our family and friends that our baby was a boy and my own mother actually wrote publicly on Facebook 'Oh I wanted a girl :(' Low blow. 

8. 'Whats wrong with you today??'
Ohhhhhh no you didn't!! Did you really just ask a 9 month pregnant, hormonal woman what's wrong with you?! I suggest you take yourself off to another room.

9. 'Wow, that's a big age gap, why did you wait so long?'
Well, since you asked. I had Bradley when I was 20. I didn't plan to start a family with someone for it not to work out 3 years later. But that's what happened. I met James when Bradley was 3 and a half. When we did make the decision to extend our family, Bradley was 8. Unfortunately conceiving proved more difficult than we expected and it took 18 months for us to fall pregnant. Hence the 10 year age gap. Yes it's a big age gap. But I'd like to think it was a pretty sensible decision. And it'll be lovely, Bradley is at a fantastic age that he's been able to be totally involved in the pregnancy and is super excited to be a big brother. He'll be amazing with him and help me out lots.

10. 'Hmm, I don't like that name'
How rude and insensitive? Luckily, it's MY child's name, not yours. You don't have to like it. While we're at it, I don't fancy yours much either. ;)

And breeeeeeaaaathe. 

Things we DO want to hear [even if you're lying... go on, just amuse us!!]:
'You look beautiful!'
'Aw you're glowing!'
'Your bump is amazing!'
'Here are your favourite chocolates'
'Would you like a foot rub?'
'I'm so proud of you'
'I've bought you your favourite Ben & Jerry's'
'You're doing a great job!'
'I'm so happy for you'
'I'm so excited for you!'

Keep up to date with me & my posts 



  1. This post is brilliant! I've yet to experience the wonders of pregnancy; however I reckon I'd be dishing out a few punches if anyone said any of the above to me! Oh, and congrats on the soon-to-be new arrival! xx

    Effortlessly Excessive.

  2. Love this post I can so relate to it ! I get told most of those things too everyday except everyone says my bump is small and I should be eating more then they go on to tell me I have put loads of weight on which is nice of them! I also have a ten year gap between my oldest two and it's a great gap they get on so well and it is easy to manage them both. Enjoy the last of your pregnany and put ur feet up and relax the housework can wait xx

    1. People just don't realise what they're saying do they?? :)
      Thank you lovely, you too!!! x

  3. Fab post and so true!! I wanted to slap people who said stupid things when I was pregnant! lol

  4. Great post! I giggled all the way:) But it's so true! I have two little boys so I know all those annoying comments so well;) And once you'll have your baby they'll start asking when are you going to try for a girl;)
    Good luck hun!

    1. Haha thats already started... 'Bet you'll try again for a girl'!! Almost as tho its a given I'll have a girl next if I had another!! :)
      Thanks for stopping by :)

  5. Lol I am so with you! A 'friend' said to me when I was 8mths pregnant last time, hmm you've got to love a bit of stretch, as she looked me up and down. Um yes, when your f**ing pregnant!! People can be so thoughtless sometimes, and ooh your mum's comment on facebook, way to be supportive! Fab post xx #sharewithme

    1. Its so true, I can't walk into a room or post a proud bump pic without the whole 'OMG you're massive... Look at the size of you!' comments! How lovely lol.
      Thanks for commenting! :)

  6. Nice post! My missus is 35 weeks on Friday and I'm sure can relate to a lot of those points. She's on the smaller side though, so has had a lot of "oooh aren't you small" and "are you sure you're pregnant". Just as unhelpful! She's also had a lot of people saying "a baby will mean this is the last time you do [insert activity]" #MadMidWeekBlogHop

    1. Uh whats wrong with people!!!
      Lots of luck with the rest of the pregnancy!! :)

  7. People can definitely say some thoughtless and insensitive things. Try not to let it stress you out too much and focus on your precious bump xx #madmidweekbloghop

  8. Brilliant! I was nodding all the way through :) When I was pregnant the first time we had a heatwave that coincided with the start of my maternity leave, I was 38 weeks pregnant, my son ended up being 11 days late and I was so fed up with being hot and sweaty! When I was pregnant the third time, after two boys, I honestly wanted to thump people who asked me if I was 'trying for a girl...' As is happened, I had a girl (complete surprise in the delivery room!) but I would have been just as happy with a boy, I wanted a healthy baby!! #ShareWithMe

    1. Exactly!! People are so insensitive!!
      Thanks for stopping by!! x

  9. Definitely want to hear 'I've bought you some Ben & Jerrys' more often!!

    Luckily I'm only just starting to show (no idea how heavily pregnant women cope in this weather - bow down to you, girl!) so I look like I've just put on a bit of extra chub. So when people tell me I'm showing/looking bigger/top is straining I'm like oh fab, now I look fat!!! Haha!

    Good luck with your last few days/weeks, I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your little one :) xxx

    1. Haha me too!! :)
      Ahhh its unbearable - soooo hot.
      Thank you lovely! x

  10. That post was genius. You brought it all back to me!
    I think you're doing incredible & you look beautiful! Not long now Hun. Xx

  11. Yes to all the above. Don't forget " Can I touch it?" That would be no. I hated people feeling my bump, some never even asked. I hope your last few weeks go well and the weather cools down for you x #sharewithme

    1. I thought about that one but I don't even get asked, people just touch it!! Obv I don't mind my friends and family but when strangers just cop a feel I'm like 'really?!'
      Thank you!! x

  12. Brilliant post! I cannot believe your mum wrote that on FB how rude! Good luck with it all x

    1. I expect nothing different from her unfortunately! :/

  13. Lianne,
    First I want to say that I hope you're hanging in there. I was in the same boat that you were just last summer. And being pregnant in the middle of the summer (when no clothing seems to fit or feel comfortable) is not ideal to any woman.

    This was a great post, with which most I can relate to--especially the one about looking like I'm carrying a boy/girl. Everyone at work thought I was carrying a boy, when in reality she was a girl! I wanted the speculations to stop, so as soon as we found out the gender, I even showed them my ultrasound. And still, they would comment: Are you sure it's not a boy? No my friend, it is not! Modern medicine confirms so!

    Thank you for sharing this. I wish you great, comfortable, and relaxing days before baby arrives.


  14. So your hormones is going haywire and people say the most insensitive things! Yep this list is spot on. Thanks for sharing and I read on the comment above that you are preggy in this weather so hang in there. #mmwbh

    1. Ah exactly, I luckily havent snapped yet, still smiling back!! :)
      Thank you, thanks for stopping by :)

  15. Well guess what?
    You're a beautiful mummy and you and bump are absolutely amazing. You're doing an amazing job and if I could pass you some virtual chocolates I would!


    1. Aw thank you very much thats a lovely thing to say!! :)

  16. LOL! I hate the " What have you been up too all day?" I give the get out my face look when that question comes. I think when were pregnant everyone thinks it's a free pass to say some insensitive mess. I needed all of these things on the back of a T-Shirt with "DON'T TOUCHE MY BELLY" on the front.

    Great funny, true read #mmwbh

    1. Haha I could make a fortune putting these quotes on tshirts!! :)

  17. Ahhh bless you. And I have to agree on every single one of those. I got them with both my pregnancies all the time and they pissed me off more and more each time. lol Love your list at the end too of what to say! Those are fantastic. lol Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. I am sorry for the commenting delay we had no power due to a storm. I hope the weather cools down for you and best of luck on your arrival soon. How very exciting! #sharewithme

  18. I loved reading this! My favourite (worst) thing ever said to me was ..."Oh I hope for your sake it's a girl this time!" xx

  19. This is the second what not to say to a pregnant woman post I've seen this week and both have made me laugh out loud. I really hope this weather calms down a bit for you- in the mean time enjoy the fan and ice pops! and everyone can just butt out ;-) xxx

  20. Genius. I've been meaning to write something similar for a while.
    Some people are so annoying when you're pregnant"

    Cat x

  21. Yes yes yes! I'm only 25 weeks but I get all of this with bells on. When I was 19 weeks I was told (by a very skinny, glamorous woman, just 30 minutes after I'd finished throwing up for the billionth time that day) that WOW I was carrying big and that it was all round my hips, wasn't it? A strange bump for someone who carried her own child like a basketball under her top. Grrrrrr!
    x x x

    1. Eugh people are so insensitive! I couldn't imagine saying that to anyone!!

  22. Fab post - all very very true (if a little funny LOL!)
    Thanks for linking up to #babybabble, hope to see you link up again tomorrow! xx


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